1997

The Best Films Of The Year:

1. Good Will Hunting
2. The Apostle
3. Ulee’s Gold
4. L.A. Confidential
5. The Game
6. Cop Land
7. As Good As It Gets
8. Contact
9. The Edge
10. Grosse Pointe Blank

"Good Will Hunting" is probably my favorite film of all time, I connected with the story and director Gus Van Sant put all the pieces together for this one. Matt Damon and Minnie Driver did an excellent job and this is probably Ben Affleck’s best performance. Everything in the film is top notch and it inspired me to write a screenplay of my own. Now if I could only get Gus to take my calls ...

"The Apostle" was a wonderful movie brought forth by Robert Duvall and if it wasn’t on the top ten, would have made the Underrated/Overlooked list. Just an excellent movie. "L.A. Confidential" was a great film, full of powerful actors like Kevin Spacey, James Cromwell and Guy Pearce, but Kim Basinger deserved little more than her salary for this one. That she took away the Best Supporting Actress Oscar is simply stupid. I’d rather give one to Jennifer Lopez for her work in "Anaconda".

**SPECIAL HONORARY AWARD**

The Most Overhyped, Overwatched, Overearning Movie Of All Time:

---------- "TITANIC" ----------

This film isn’t really all that bad. But it’s far, far, FAR from being good enough to garner the response it did. First, let’s call things as they are. Leonardo DiCraprio did not do anything more than a passable job in this film and was the weakest link (goodbye). Kate Winslet was good and Billy Zane rarely misses the mark. Unless that mark is Leo’s head. If this had been real life, Zane would have shot Titanic Jack Dawson’s dumb little head off about an hour and a half into the film. Then the boat could hit the iceberg and sink to show off all the special effects writer/director James Cameron put together.

And how in the hell did this film make 1.8 BILLION dollars worldwide? The closest film to "Craptanic" is still about 700 MILLION dollars away. Think of all the starving children that could have been fed. Think of the homeless people that could have been sheltered. Think of my early retirement!!!

In short, this film apparently struck a nerve with the overly-weepy crowd of the world and they had too much money to burn that year. I salute you, Mr. Cameron for proving you can fool all of the people some of the time.

The Worst Films Of The Year:

1. The Postman
2. Speed 2: Cruise Control
3. The Peacemaker
4. Steel
5. A Life Less Ordinary

Some truly bad films this year. Since "Craptanic" was mentioned in its honorary category already, the next worst film of the year went to Kevin Costner's "The Postman". Apparently, the most important thing in the post-apocalyptic future is that the mail gets delivered. Dumb.

"Speed 2" should have stopped production once they had to replace Keanu Reeves. Seriously, when you have to replace Keanu, you’re asking for a beating. "The Peacemaker" was Dreamworks first film brought to the screen. Lucky for them, they’ve done some good movies since. Nicole Kidman helping to save the world from nuclear terrorists? We’re all doomed.

I’ll sum up "Steel"’s foibles by reminding everyone that it starred Shaquille O'Neal. After his biopic "Blue Chips" came out, he shouldn’t have been given any other work. And "A Life Less Ordinary" should have been titled A Movie So Boring. With Ewan McGregor, Holly Hunter, Delroy Lindo, Dan Hedaya, Stanley Tucci, Tony Shalhoub , Ian Holm and Timothy Olyphant, this film should not have been so bad. Even with Cameron Diaz .

The Most Horrible Films That Are Fun To Watch:

1. Anaconda
2. Starship Troopers
3. Double Team
4. Batman & Robin
5. I Know What You Did Last Summer

You mean there’s snakes out here this big! Oh, "Anaconda". How you’ve touched my soul. Ice Cube manages to land in many bad films that give me great joy. Pretty decent cast in this one. Maybe they were sent a different script and when they got on set, given the real ones once the contracts were signed. That might explain it. Or maybe they all needed to pay their SAG dues.

"Starship Troopers" is a million laughs and guffaws. Whether it’s Denise Richards flying a spacecraft or Neil Patrick Harris (a personal hero of mine) reading the minds of insects, this film really delivers entertainment. Good creature effects and a cheesy, cheesy script help keep this film near and dear.

"Double Team" features not only the great Jean-Claude Van Damme but Dennis Rodman too! I love America. And most important to this film is that it has possibly the most unbelievably amazing end-battle set-ups ever. EVER. Jean-Claude vs. a bare-chested Mickey Rourke in the middle of a coliseum that has been laid with mines. Oh, and for good measure, a Bengal tiger is roaming around too. And then to see how a Coke vending machine can literally save your life, this film really has it all. There’s also one of the most homo-erotic scenes ever put to film - not just mainstream cinema, this probably beats some of the pornography out there. Just look for the scene where Jean Claude is exercising using a bathtub. Whoa.

"Batman & Robin" features the Governator spouting some classic lines (“My name is Freeze, learn it well for it is the sound of your doom”) and more bad quips than I used all through college. This film sucks, but with enough alcohol and friends, can be a good time. "I Know What You Did Last Summer" is just a bad teen horror film with plenty of opportunities for you to laugh at.

The Most Underrated/Overlooked Films Of The Year:

Volcano
Switchback
Ronin
Fierce Creatures

"Volcano" may look like just another dumb disaster dud, but it's actually pretty smart. With both Tommy Lee Jones and Don Cheadle in it, it’s worth the Netflix selection. "Switchback" was an underrated thriller that got lost in the shuffle this year. Bad marketing didn’t help it either. But if you like thrillers, check it out. "Ronin" has one of the best car chases in movie history and as an espionage film fan, this hit the right groove with me.

"Fierce Creatures" is the quasi-sequel to "A Fish Called Wanda", reuniting the cast in entirely different roles and situations. While it didn’t get the credibility that Wanda has, I actually prefer this film. I think it has better pacing. And really, what’s funnier than Kevin Kline riding an animatronic panda?